Krause Funeral Homes Blog

School kids around the world celebrate all things Dr. Seuss today, as he was born on this date 106 years ago.  Kids will don funny accessories to emulate the Cat in the Hat, dine on delicacies like Green Eggs and Ham and hopefully read a famous tale or two as part of Read Across America, an initiative created by the National Education Association.  Dr. Seuss, whose given name was Theodor Seuss Geisel, was known as a jokester and for his unique use of funny animals as reading enticements.

Why the Nom de Plume?

In college at Dartmouth, Geisel was editor-in-chief of a humor magazine.  After being caught drinking gin with friends (which violated national prohibition laws at the time), he was asked by school administrators to quit all extracurricular activities.  Geisel did not want to give up writing for the humor magazine that he so loved and instead began signing his work with the pen name “Seuss.”

Silly Seuss

Milwaukean Stacy Sullivan reports that her grandfather, Stanton Kinnie Smith from Rockford, Illinois, knew Geisel at Dartmouth.  Her grandfather shared stories of how Geisel was a practical joker.  He liked to go to a park near campus, probably to sketch the animals he would later create caricatures of.  One day, a police officer blew his whistle and accused Geisel of stealing public property–Geisel was carrying a bench out of the park.  He surprised the accusing officer by asking him to examine the underside of the bench.  After inspection, the officer learned he’d been duped–Geisel owned the official park bench replica carried it with him as a joke.

Thing One and Thing Two Are Not All Fun and Games

A May 1954 Life magazine report on illiteracy concluded that children were not learning to read because their books were boring.   A list of 250 words important for first-graders to recognize was created.  Geisel was hired to write a book “that children can’t put down”–using only those words.  Geisel turned to humor, animals and trisyllabic meter.  Nine months later, The Cat in the Hat was created using 236 of those words. Some say it is the most popular “beginning to read” book ever published.

The Power of Animals

Geisel’s love of animals probably stems from growing up as a zoo superintendent’s son.  He often sketched the animals entrusted to his father’s care, but added twists not usually found in nature.  It is reported that he liked to add body parts to his animals–an extra tail or limb–even at a young age.   In all of Geisel’s children’s books, crazy-looking animals are featured.  Their wacky twists make kids laugh, smile and want to read on.  But they also often model traits like dedication and love.   He knew the power that animals have on kids and used it to teach kids to read.

Krause Funeral Homes knows that children often respond well to animals too.  We offer dove &  butterfly releases that can signify the end of the funeral or the circle of life.

Oliver, Krause Funeral Homes’ trained, on-staff therapy dog, is a hit with children; and for many, petting or hugging Oliver has a calming effect and triggers happy memories.  He is a hypoallergenic Portuguese Water Dog and has completed Canine Good Citizen and therapy dog training. In addition to attending funerals, Oliver often visits hospitals, nursing homes, hospices and children’s facilities as a community service. His presence at funerals is optional and free of charge.

While Oliver can’t comfort or teach with words, he can help break the ice, create a needed diversion and draw people out.

In the words of Dr. Seuss:  “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”

Click here for additional information on children and funerals or to contact us.

Flower arrangements are a part of so many traditions:  weddings, funerals and even the Olympics.  Winning athletes are given bouquets of flowers before they are given their medals.  In Beijing athletes received roses; Turin Olympians were given groupings of azaleas, rhododendrons and camellias.   In British Columbia the green mum and hypericum berry bouquet beat out 57 other arrangements–and not just because green mums are indiginous to Canada, have little fragrance and a low pollen count (lessening the chance for Olympian allergic reaction).  The winning arrangement has a nifty philanthropic angle.

Winning bouquet designer June Strandburg not only creates beautiful arrangements, but teaches floristry to women who have have been victims of violence or are turning their lives around after substance addiction or a prison stay.  Strandberg’s program even helps with job placement.  All 22 people creating the 1,800 official Olympic bouquets are graduates of her program.

Flowers and philanthropy can be a part of funeral traditions too.  After funerals, families choose where flower arrangements should be delivered.  Most take flowers home or leave them at a house of worship.

As part of their signature services, Krause Funeral Homes funeral directors take photos of all arrangements and cards and give them to familes for keepesake and thank you note purposes.  Then families are offered the option of having some or all flowers delivered free of charge to wherever they choose (afterall, who wants pollen messing up a car?).   Funeral Directors make suggestions like choosing to brighten the community room at the former retirement facility of their loved one.

Some organizations take it a step further.  According to Sandy Wals at Luther Manor Retirement Community in Wauwatosa, WI, residents in their Floral Group take donated arrangements apart and then spend a relaxing hour or two enjoying each other’s company and honing their skills at floral arranging.   Finished pieces are used as centerpieces, special gifts, etc.   Those flowers work hard:  they comfort a grieving family, provide enjoyment to a group of seniors and then brighten someone’s day.  Without deliveries from Krause Funeral Homes and others, there would be no club.  And while International Olympic Committee rules require bouquets to be no larger than 30 cm. by 25 cm., Luther Manor’s Floral Group can can enjoy creating arrangements of any shape or size.

Maureen C. writes, “I have often wondered about the condolences one might send via the computer.  During their acute time of grief, family members might not feel able to go online and read correspondence and thus would miss the thoughtful messages from friends.”

As each website handles this differently, it is recommended that you check the specific website’s policy.  Families whose loved ones are entrusted to Krause Funeral Homes are given hard copies of condolence notes, as part of a remembrance memorial package.  Messages sent after the funeral are printed and sent to the family via regular mail.

The embalming procedures used by priests back in 1342 B.C. allowed researchers to find viable DNA in 16 royal mummies, including King Tutankhamen, according to a study published yesterday in the Journal of the American Medical Association.  With that DNA, scientists have determined that the pharaoh’s parents were siblings, it’s likely he married his sister and he fathered two stillborn babies.  They also concluded that it was probably malaria, not murder, that killed him.  Medical and radiological investigations reported that he had Plasmodium falciparum (the cause of the most severe form of malaria) along with a debilitating bone disorder, club foot, cleft palette and freshly broken leg.

While he ruled for just nine years, people have been fascinated with the former ruler after a 1922 discovery unearthed his now 3,000 year-old tomb.  The tomb revealed that people from the 18th dynasty of the New Kingdom personalized burial rituals by incorporating interests and hobbies.  Tut, who was 19 when he died, was buried with his board game called “Senet,” his bronze trumpet, his model boat and much, much more.

While burying objects with their owners is not widely popular today, people do pay tribute by tailoring memorials to fit their loved ones.

* An avid Harley rider may have his or her bike brought into the visitation room with riding gear placed around it.
* For an environmentalist, a green burial may be arranged with a catered organic lunch to follow.
* At the service of a car collector, a favorite Corvette or Model A car may be parked at the funeral home entrance.
* For a book lover, a display of favorites may give a reception the feel of a cozy library.
* For the much admired cook, a favorite dish may be served at the visitation with the “secret” recipe handed out as a take-home memento.

To help families celebrate the life of their loved ones with customized services, Krause Funeral Homes funeral directors go beyond Wisconsin state requirements by attending life appreciation training.  All of our burial and cremation packages include signature services like video slideshows, candle lighting ceremonies and environmentally safe balloon releases.  And while we can’t offer a gold gilded wood chariot, like the one King Tut was buried with, we do offer the choice of a traditional or motorcycle hearse.  For more information on customizing memorials contact us.

Richard T. writes:  “Today is ‘Fat Tuesday’ which reminded me to post a question about food.  Is it disrespectful to eat and drink at a visitation or funeral?”

Not at all.  Sharing a meal after the death of a friend or family member has been a tradition in many cultures for centuries.  It makes sense; most family gatherings and traditions revolve around meals and for many food is comforting.

In past decades, most meals were shared after the official funeral rituals were over.  But recently families have realized the value in serving food and beverages during visitations and funerals.  These days people are busier than ever and they appreciate offers of refreshment and nourishment while they visit and pay tribute.

For instance, at Krause Funeral Homes we hear very positive feedback when families offer their guests wine, beer, soft drinks and substantial hors d’oeuvres at an early evening visitation.  It allows people to stay and share stories without having to rush off to feed their families.  We cater everything from wine and cheese samplings to multi-course, seated meals.  Click here to learn more.

Regarding “Fat Tuesday,” it is the day before the Christian Ash Wednesday.  It begins the 40 days of Lent, and is also called Mardi Gras, Shrove Tuesday and Pancake Day.  According to Wikipedia, pancakes are associated with this day because  they were cooked in a way to use up rich foodstuffs such as eggs, milk, and sugar, before the fasting season of Lent.  For the record, Krause Funeral Homes can cater pancakes at a gathering too.

This year Scott T. made a New Year’s resolution to get organized.  If something  unforeseen happened, Scott isn’t certain his family would be able to find legal, financial or other important information.  “A friend of mine unexpectedly died last year and I watched his family struggle to make decisions about funeral arrangements and spend hours trying to find the info they needed.  I wouldn’t want my family to go through that–any advice?”

Scott, you bring up excellent points for joining the ranks of the 16.5 million people who will preplan their funerals this year.  As another writer put it “no one is promised tomorrow.”  According to 2000 U.S. Census data, people under 50 account for one fourth of all U.S. deaths.  It also reports that deaths are more common than births:  a baby is born every 12 seconds while a death occurs every 8 seconds.

When a death occurs, one of the best gifts you can give your family is peace–the knowledge that they have acted in accordance with your wishes.  Preplanning also:

• eliminates the possibility that your family will debate, discuss and guess your wishes
• protects your family from the stress of hunting for important information and documents
• removes the possibility that grieving family members will feel the need to overspend

Below are tips from the experts to help you move forward.

Set a Timeframe

The best time to preplan is when you are healthy so that you can have time to reflect and decide what is best for you.   Many find that setting a finished plan goal date works best.

Educate Yourself

There are over 100 detailed decisions a family needs to make upon the death of a loved one and a trusted professional can help streamline the process and answer questions.  At Krause Funeral Homes, Preneed Specialists concentrate on listening and recording clients’ wishes.  They are trained and licensed beyond the State’s licensing requirements and have helped more people organize their wishes than any other funeral home in Wisconsin.  Christine Jacob, Krause’s Preneed Director, says  “We find that it works best to meet face-to-face for about an hour and can arrange to meet in our office or any quiet place convenient for people.  If that option isn’t available, we can set-up a phone conference or simply answer questions via email.”  There is no charge for meeting with a Preneed Specialist.

Set Aside Introspective Time

For most, preplanning involves some easy-to-answer questions and some that need more thought.

Educate Your Loved Ones

Once your wishes are in writing you need to tell someone where they are.  While you may have put directives in your will or a safe deposit box, often these are not opened or read until after a funeral.  And unless someone has access to your computer passwords and knows which files to look for, a computer document may never be opened.  A safe bet is to keep a copy of your wishes at the funeral home of your choice.

Related helpful advice can be found here:

• Talking to Your Adult Children About Your Funeral Wishes
• Talking to Your Parents about Putting a Plan In Place
• Talking to a Spouse Who Is Reluctant to Put a Plan In Place
• Prefunding a Funeral
• Why Preplanning Makes Sense

Don’t hesitate to contact us for further information.

Melanie L. asks “What is an appropriate size <flower> arrangement if the deceased is a relative of a friend of yours?  Is it more appropriate to just send a note and a donation to the organization suggested?”

Sending flowers, plants, prayer cards or donations to charitable organizations (in lieu of flowers, the family may request monetary donations towards a charitable foundation) are all appropriate gestures whether the deceased is a relative or a friend.  It is really a matter of personal choice.  If you decide to send flowers there is no steadfast rule of thumb on the size of the flowers you should send; however, sending something unique or that will live beyond funeral services may help your message stand out.

Check out the Bright Tomorrows Azalea for under $50.  Or the Vibrant Garden with plants that are purposefully hidden in separate containers so that each family member may take a piece home.    The Heavenly Comfort remembrance wreath for about $100 is simple, elegant and unique.

For more unique and traditional flower ideas click here.

*For privacy reasons, we have changed the names of the people who have asked the question.

Dinny S.* writes “should you bring children to a wake or service?”

Today, experts agree that the healthiest approach is to include children in funeral rituals. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a noted psychiatrist, says “if they are old enough to love, they are old enough to grieve.” While some want to protect children from the harsh reality of death, denying children an opportunity to be part of remembering and saying goodbye shuts them out of an event that can help them grow. A child’s fantasies about death and burial can also be dispelled by the reality of the funeral service which will help him or her develop a healthy and realistic attitude about death. How children grieve and participate in the rituals of your family will help determine how they will face future sorrows.

What to Expect
It will be important to explain your family’s rituals around death: who will be there, what they will be doing, where and when this will take place and how people might act or feel. Explain that they might see tears, straight faces and laughter. It may help to explain that a funeral is a time to:

• express sadness because someone has died
• honor the person who died and celebrate his or her life
• help comfort and support each other
• remember that life goes on

It would be helpful to describe how the room is set up and where the person who died will be—in a casket (open or closed) or cremated—and how that person will look (use of make-up) and feel (cold) if the child were to touch the person who died. Explain the purpose of each ritual.

There are certain terms like casket and visitation that you may want to explain to your children and older children may want to know what to say.  Providing as much age-appropriate, factual information up front will help arm children with the understanding they’ll need to face the event that may be new to them.  Avoid phrases like “sleeping,” “passed away” and “lost.”

To learn more about children and funerals click here.

Kelly M.* asked “How can I quickly and properly write a note of condolence to a friend?”

Here are a few tips that might help you when writing a note to someone who is grieving:

Acknowledge the Loss and Name the Deceased
“I was so saddened to hear that Tom died.”

Share a Favorite Memory
“He was such a great storyteller. I remember at last year’s summer party how he entertained all the kids with one of his crazy tales. He had their full attention and they laughed and giggled about the ending long after.”

Express Your Sympathy
Include in your letter a thoughtful word, a hope or a wish such as “Please accept my sympathy,” “You are in my thoughts,” or “Wishing you God’s peace.” Closings such as “sincerely” or “fondly” aren’t quite as personal.

Clearly Identify Yourself
Include your last name when signing your note, as there may be many with a similar first name. Offer how you knew the deceased if you do not know the family well or you haven’t been in contact for a while. “Sarah Jones (Tom & Judy Black’s daughter).” Provide a clearly written return address.

For additional tips on funeral etiquette click here.